“America, I see you. And I see the faces you make when I talk – you’re scared,” Woody Harrelson, flashing a mouth full of pearly whites as Joe Biden, said. “Scared I’ll say something off-color, or even worse, on color.
“What I want you to know is you should be scared,” he continued.” Because I’m always one second away from calling Cory Booker ‘Barack.’”
“I’m a little overwhelmed because I thought 10 people were coming and now there’s 30 million,” she quipped. “But I promise dinner will be ready if you just get out of the kitchen and stop asking questions,” she said, mocking Warren’s dodging how she plans to pay for her $52 trillion Medicare-for-All plan.
“I’m a little overwhelmed because I thought 10 people were coming and now there’s 30 million.”
McKinnon then jabbed at Warren’s dubious claims of Native American heritage.
“And, of course, this Thanksgiving, I’ll be cooking … the food of my ancestors. Should I say it? I’m going to say it. Maize.”
Larry David as Bernie Sanders addressed the candidate’s recent heart attack scare.
“Doctors were surprised I made it,” he said. “And I’m very proud of the fact that I was the first heart attack patient to show up to the emergency room in a city bus.”
Host Will Ferrell played unblinking climate activist billionaire Tom Steyer.
“I’m running for president for a simple reason,” Ferrell said, still not blinking. “It’s fun and it gets me out of the house.”
“I’m running for president for a simple reason. It’s fun and it gets me out of the house.”
“Health care is important,” Ferrell continued. “But housing affects everything: where you sleep, where you shop, where you get your shoes shined, where you buy jewels, where you raise peacocks. Am I relatable?”
“Did somebody say, ‘billionaire?’” Fred Armisen as Michael Bloomberg said, crashing the debate stage while sipping a Big Gulp. “Is there time for me to come in late and ruin everything?”
U.S. Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (Cecily Strong) was introduced as “tonight’s villain,” saying “I want you to know I’m wearing the white suit of your fallen hero: Hillary Clinton.”
Colin Jost as Pete Buttigieg said in his closing statement, “America, I know I can do this because my supporters are a diverse coalition of young to old, gay to straight, white to eggshell.”
Biden closed by saying he knows that neither Vladimir Putin nor American voters want him as the Democrats’ nominee, “but I’m positive I can win the election in 2016.”