Married woman, 30, has NEVER had sex with her husband

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Revati Bordawekar, of India, suffers from vaginismus, which makes her vagina clench whenever she tries to insert anything


A married woman has revealed she has never had sex with her husband – because of a medical condition.

Revati Bordawekar, of India, suffers from vaginismus, which makes her vagina clench whenever she tries to insert anything.

However, the 30-year-old virgin last month gave birth to Eva after getting pregnant through IVF. She managed to push her out naturally. 

And, after giving now she hopes fully penetrative sex will no longer be an obstacle. 

Revati Bordawekar, of India, suffers from vaginismus, which makes her vagina clench whenever she tries to insert anything

Mrs Bordawekar, a digital marketer, said: ‘We haven’t tried sex yet, but I’m confident that it won’t be a barrier anymore.’

She believes this is possible because she was able to push a six pound baby out of her vagina.  

The last time Mrs Bordawekar attempted to have sex with her husband Chinmay was before their IVF, in early 2018. 

She revealed they were able to get in there ‘about halfway’. However, she said it was ‘super uncomfortable’ and she was desperate for it to be over.  

Speaking about when she first realised something was wrong, Mrs Bordawekar said: ‘I first tried a tampon at the age of 22 and I kept trying but anticipated a lot of pain already.

‘My hands started to shiver, and the vaginal opening clenched each time I tried to get the tampon around the area. That was my first cue.

‘Through my twenties, I tried to feel around the area but was never able to even touch beyond the labia. 

‘At that point I didn’t feel comfortable enough to seek medical attention or even talk about what I was going through.

The last time Mrs Bordawekar attempted to have sex with her husband Chinmay was before their IVF, in early 2018 (pictured while pregnant)

The last time Mrs Bordawekar attempted to have sex with her husband Chinmay was before their IVF, in early 2018 (pictured while pregnant)

However, the 30-year-old virgin last month gave birth to Eva after getting pregnant through IVF. She managed to push her out naturally (pictured with husband Chinmay)

However, the 30-year-old virgin last month gave birth to Eva after getting pregnant through IVF. She managed to push her out naturally (pictured with husband Chinmay)

‘Though I had doubts about me not being able to have intercourse, I just decided to leave it to the future and see how things went.’ 

Mrs Bordawekar, from Ahmednagar, first met her husband through online dating in 2013. He was living in the US at the time but later moved to India. 

It was only on her wedding night, aged 25, she told her husband of her condition, which strikes around one per cent of women to some degree. 

After opening up to him about her ‘deep fear’ of hurting her intimate area, he was accepting and said they should ‘spend time getting to know each other’.

Mrs Bordawekar assumed the opening was small and unable to accommodate any objects in her vagina.

She eventually stumbled upon vaginismus while Googling her symptoms and was overjoyed that there was a cure.

Mrs Bordawekar was told to try foreplay, drink wine and even use a numbing cream to help her consumate her marriage. However, none of the tips worked. 

Mrs Bordawekar, from Ahmednagar, first met her husband through online dating in 2013. He was living in the US at the time but later moved to India (pictured in hospital after giving birth)

Mrs Bordawekar, from Ahmednagar, first met her husband through online dating in 2013. He was living in the US at the time but later moved to India (pictured in hospital after giving birth)

It was only on her wedding night, aged 25, she told her husband of her condition, which strikes around one per cent of women to some degree (pictured with baby Eva)

It was only on her wedding night, aged 25, she told her husband of her condition, which strikes around one per cent of women to some degree (pictured with baby Eva)

Doctors surgically cut Mrs Bordawekar’s hymen and dilated her, in hopes she would overcome the condition. It also failed to help.

Desperate to have children, the couple came across various methods, including using a syringe to insert his semen as far as possible into her vagina.

They eventually came across IVF, which is intrusive, and were successful on their second cycle, in May 2018.

Mrs Bordawekar said: ‘When I finally got our first positive pregnancy test, it felt so unreal that I cried my heart out. 

‘The day that we were waiting for so long was finally here.’

She began to bleed during pregnancy and needed a vaginal ultrasound – which requires a probe going a few inches inside.

Mrs Bordawekar asked for two members of staff to ‘hold her hands’ and ‘soothe her feet’, as the doctor promised to insert the probe slowly.

Her midwife noticed she was slowly able to tolerate her vagina being touched, and asked if she wanted to try for a natural birth instead of a C-section.

She said: ‘We attended a series of classes on childbirth preparation which slowly made me turn towards at least giving vaginal birth a try before quitting.’

Mrs Bordawekar assumed the opening was small and unable to accommodate any objects in her vagina (pictured with Eva)

Mrs Bordawekar assumed the opening was small and unable to accommodate any objects in her vagina (pictured with Eva)

Desperate to have children, the couple came across various methods, including using a syringe to insert his semen as far as possible into her vagina (pictured with her husband)

Desperate to have children, the couple came across various methods, including using a syringe to insert his semen as far as possible into her vagina (pictured with her husband)

She began to bleed during pregnancy and needed a vaginal ultrasound - which requires a probe going a few inches inside (pictured with Eva in hospital)

She began to bleed during pregnancy and needed a vaginal ultrasound – which requires a probe going a few inches inside (pictured with Eva in hospital)

Mrs Bordawekar said: 'I want to show that vaginismus doesn't stop you from giving birth to your baby' (pictured while pregnant)

Mrs Bordawekar said: ‘I want to show that vaginismus doesn’t stop you from giving birth to your baby’ (pictured while pregnant)

Mrs Bordawekar gave birth to baby Eva last month, after 48 hours of labour. She revealed she asked for five minutes to brace herself before she started pushing.

She added: ‘I thought about my struggle with vaginismus since my teens, the years of being told to “relax and it will happen”. 

‘I thought of how bad I felt each time I was deprived of something that came naturally to most.

‘Yet this was my only chance to experience the miracle of vaginal birth. And then I was ready to start pushing.’  

Mrs Bordawekar said: ‘I want to show that vaginismus doesn’t stop you from giving birth to your baby. 

‘Coming from someone like me with severe primary vaginismus – if I could do it, you can too.

‘Also, vaginismus is real, it’s not in your head and it won’t go away if you relax, drink wine or lube up.’  

You can follow Mrs Bordawekar’s journey by visiting www.instagram.com/our-journey-to-eva

Mrs Bordawekar gave birth to baby Eva (pictured) last month, after 48 hours of labour. She revealed she asked for five minutes to brace herself before she started pushing

Mrs Bordawekar gave birth to baby Eva (pictured) last month, after 48 hours of labour. She revealed she asked for five minutes to brace herself before she started pushing

Mrs Bordawekar said: 'When I finally got our first positive pregnancy test, it felt so unreal that I cried my heart out' (pictured is Eva)

Mrs Bordawekar said: ‘When I finally got our first positive pregnancy test, it felt so unreal that I cried my heart out’ (pictured is Eva)

WHAT IS VAGINISMUS?

Vaginismus occurs when the vagina suddenly tightens up whenever penetration is attempted.

The woman has no control over it, which can be extremely distressing.

It affects between 0.5 and one per cent of women.

As well as struggling to have vaginal sex, many also find it difficult to use a tampon.

If they can achieve penetration, sufferers may then experience a burning or stinging sensation.

However, vaginismus does not necessarily affect a woman’s ability to get aroused or enjoy other forms of sexual contact. 

Vaginismus often has no clear cause but can include a woman:

  • Fearing her vagina is too small
  • Having a bad first sexual experience
  • Believing sex is shameful or wrong
  • Having an unpleasant medical examination
  • Suffering from an infection or painful condition, such as thrush

Vaginismus can sometimes occur even if a woman has enjoyed penetrative sex in the past. 

If a woman suspects she may have vaginismus, she should make an appointment to see her GP.

The consultation usually involves asking about her symptoms and rarely requires an internal examination.

Treatment is usually therapy to help a women understand her feelings about sex and her body. Relaxation techniques such as mindfulness can also help.

Pelvic floor exercise can also help a woman gain control of her vaginal muscles.

In more severe cases, vaginal trainers, which are shaped like tampons and come in different sizes, can help a woman get used to have something inserted in her vagina.

Source: NHS 





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