Man tries to sell ‘slab of misery’ campervan ‘perfect for a sadist’ in hilarious advert

Man tries to sell

A man is trying to shift his campervan on eBay, and has described it as a “sad slab of misery on wheels” which would be perfect for “another coerced partner, or sadist”.

The advert also details the tragic story behind the Bedford CF Motorhome.

The seller says he didn’t want it but his girlfriend did, so they “comprised and purchased a camper”. She later left him, “probably for a man with a much more impressive motorhome”.

Surprisingly, the bidding has now surpassed £1500 with less than two days left and 41 bids placed. You’ll have to act fast if you want to get your hands on the “reminder of some terrible life choices”, reports the Mirror.

The inside is far from being finished

The man writes: “Up for sale is my 1984 Bedford CF campervan. A perfect restoration candidate for another coerced partner, or sadist.

“I never wanted a campervan, my now ex girlfriend did. So we comprised and purchased a camper, without ever laying eyes on it first might I add.

“It was intended to be a ‘joint’ project which in reality turned into her standing around for half a day complaining about the shed we’d bought.

Man tries to sell 'slab of misery' campervan 'perfect for a sadist' in hilarious advert
It really isn’t much of a looker

“Fast forward a few months and she decided to up and leave (probably for a man with a much more impressive motorhome than mine) leaving only behind this sad slab of misery on wheels.

“Apart from being an eyesore and driving down local property prices, it serves as a personal reminder that the last few years of my life have truly and utterly been a waste.”

He then goes on to describe the good points of the van, saying that it’s largely rust free underneath, good progress has been made on the conversion, and it doesn’t leak anymore.

Man tries to sell 'slab of misery' campervan 'perfect for a sadist' in hilarious advert
It does come with the stuff needed to finish the job

It also comes with everything needed to convert it into a campervan, including a full wiring kit, water tanks, cladding, and a heater.

However, the advert then goes on to describe more of the motorhome’s bad points – including the fact that it doesn’t run any more.

It’s also got corrosion to the bodywork, will need repainting, and worst of all – “it taunts me daily of my past failures and lost love”.

The advert concludes: “If you’ve made it this far you are probably mentally unwell or still being forced into making a perfect love den for those romantic weekend getaways, either way, I applaud the dedication.

Man tries to sell 'slab of misery' campervan 'perfect for a sadist' in hilarious advert
The man wished any potential buyers good luck

“If you do decide to bid on it and God forbid you actually win, you will have to get it transported or collect it yourself as I have neither the time, the means or the will to deliver it for you.

“I’m just trying to get a little money back so I can go on a heavy night of drinking, perhaps visit a lady of the night depending on how well the auction goes and then close this awful chapter of my life.

“Happy bidding and good luck (God knows you’re gonna need it).”

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